A day off, not by choice.

Yesterday, I didn't hear my 4:15am alarm. Sure, that seems like a smart move. I woke up after 5am. Couldn't lift my head off of the pillow. Woke up again at 7:20. Mind you, I have a slew of "safety alarms" that must have gone off, that I must have snoozed. Never heard them. I gave up. Cancelled my daytime plans with very groggy texts. Not like me at ALL.

I was in and out of a weird daze, until about 3pm. Really? Yes. Was I drugged? No.

Hubby was very, very sick. A while back, he had an MRI because he had migranes that made him puke. He's also not a canceler, but he did. He had some cold, or, as we thought, allergy symptoms as well. I had the same for the past few days. Sneezing, sniffles, coughing... in fact, in my daze, I found a cup of ice cold throat coat tea by the bed. I'm sure it was steaming hot at some point.

This scares me, yet I know it's probably just super charged exhaustion and stress. It has been a CRAZY month or more for both of us. I think my body learned to shut me down early and forcefully. Do you believe that cancer is caused or helped along with stress? I do. Absolutely. Whatever starts it, if your stress is through the roof, or exhaustion, it is allowed to grow and prosper and take over your world, which is your body, of course!

So, instead of trying to fight (which, quite honestly, would be impossible given that I could barely get up to use the restroom), I went.

I did make a nice dinner, simple and pretty clean. Went to bed and watched a few movies, as I didn't want to wake at 2am and be Cornholio'd!!!

This morning I started waking up at 4. Still a bit foggy and groggy, but the worst has passed. Forced myself to chill until 8. Been doing my kombucha making, had a nice bulletproof coffee, and am now thinking, in this horrible thunderstorm (and yes, I missed the most perfect day yesterday - and anyone who knows me, knows that it ONLY if I'm deathly ill!) I should get to the gym. May wait for hubby to arise, so he can make sure I don't die while there. Safety first!

We'll see. Our anniversary is next week - no real plans but we need a fancy dinner.As long as I can get rid of whatever is trying to kill me from the inside! Yes. Think positively. I got the rest I needed, and I can take it easy until I'm myself again.

July... Mom's birthday coming up, and I've been a patient nearly 3 years? What the heck?

Time flies, and now, it's July.

My mom's birthday is fast approaching. She would have been 75. She died 25 years ago, and it hurts just the same.

Our 3 year anniversary is fast approaching, which means my 3 year cancerversary is right behind it. Weird. All this stuff. Not to mention my daughter's birthday, my birthday a month later (right around my cancerversary), then hubbys birthday the next month, and then, the slaying of Native Americans (I'm part, just FYI) while people gorge on enough food to feed a village, vapid gift gimmee, and then a whole new year!

Yeah.

Well, the usual battles are going on, except it's hard to keep my head on straight when hubby is so tired that we think he has a brain tumor.  He had an MRI and it's clear, so it is now assumed that he need to stop and breathe. The problem with being freelancers, you don't dictate your downtime. Your bills do, and ours say work 24/7. We love what we do. I'd love for hubby to no longer get migranes that make him puke.

At least we know he's not pregnant.  ;)

Off to pack for another one off in a foreign country. Did one a couple of weeks ago. I love work, but the travel...

And on a good note, my daughter is definitely on an attitude upswing. Let's hope we can keep her in our mood and outlook corner. Parenting is so challenging, with or without cancer. I've learned to bite my tongue, and let thoughts roll around in my head and soften, before I speak. Sometimes, I can actually do it. It's all about getting better, right?