Getting better every day, but some days blow anyway. Is this the start of lymphedema?

Wow, it's been a while since I've blogged. Mainly, I've been busy. Traveling and working and, well, traveling and working. It's all good, but I'm TIRED!

I've been feeling better every day. My hormones are pissed still, and I tend to get 2 periods a month now. I got it last week and was on a business trip followed by a business trip. The second one had me worried, it had just started, and I literally was hemorrhaging like there was no tomorrow. I ended up asking one of the guys in the band to keep an eyeball on me, because I wasn't feeling great. I ended up not passing out, but wow. I can't believe that I could lose that much blood in a week, after losing that much 2 weeks prior. I made it, and I think it's passed. I guess there was a bit of back log - as this is the second time it's hit me like this.

Oh, Ms. Estrogen, I'm so sorry to have shunned you like I did for 10 months. I'm such a bitch.  I hope we can be friends again.

Meanwhile, it's been much easier to keep my diet in check. I'm actually better on the road - even living on someone else's dime, I stuck to basically 2 salads a day, some fruit and coffee and tea. The last night on the road there was no salad, but there was roasted chicken and veggies. I ignored anything with bread or sugar. I did have some fruit and goat cheese and told the amazing looking desserts to f-off. Some of my favorites too - carrot cake, pecan pie, chocolate something in a cup. The cheesecake I could easily flip off. The carrot cake is my best friend and enemy. I was actually really, really, really proud of myself for ignoring it. Yay, me.

One thing that helps is reminding myself that it's literally a moment of strange pleasure followed by the scale the next morning. And the bloating. And the sugar driven craving for more sugar. I like that I'm getting a grip on this. It's not foolproof, but I ain't a fool, and I know that I'd rather feel and look better than have a scrumptious piece of cake. Mmmm. Cake. STOP IT. Cake. STOP IT!!!  See? It worked!

My left arm has been a bit throbby for a while. I worry, but there's really not much I can do. I have my sleeves and gauntlets. Sometimes I'll try and rub my arm for circulation. Dry skin brushing hopefully helps, as I remember to do it more and more.

Going out of town again next week... we'll see how that flies, literally!

Hormones! Sea Cucumbers! Brain tumors... :(

They're totally back. I mean, it's interesting, because though they're back and starting to function again, I'm not suffering much pain or discomfort. Perhaps my body is grateful to regain it's youthful-ish-ness after the plug was pulled from ye olde estrogen via Tamoxigarbage. 

Though I did just make a cup of golden milk. A bit bloated, and I'm hoping that will bring it down a bit. Overall, not bad at all. Breathing. Had a good workout. Not as good as I would have liked, but considering the state of estrogen, I did just fine. 

My friend's wife had a brain tumor removed a few months back, and today she suffered a massive seizure most likely due to the brain tumor surgery she recently had. She's still unconscious.

Meanwhile, in the disgusting category, I've been taking SEA CUCUMBER!

Luckily, I have not been able to find it in any restaurants (that's a lie, I did find a Korean place that had it on the menu), and I even looked in Chinatown to see if I could buy it to cook. WHEW. No luck. So I found this. I can't lie - I don't know if it's the placebo effect, or the tamoxifen leaving the building, or whatever, but these slimy disgusting things have been making me feel better. And they are reportedly good for muscle aches, joints, energy, blahblahblah. I have felt markedly better since a few days into these, and didn't actually expect it. So, these absolutely horrific looking creatures just may save me!

We were talking about what to do for Mother's Day dinner. Maybe I'll ask the hubs if we can go to the Korean place so I can try it. Then again, perhaps I'll stick to what I like and save that adventure for a day filled with self-loathing and a need to punish myself. BLECH! Did I mention, I hate slimy things like worms and slugs and crap. Though, if you put a nice plate of escargot in butter, (in a French vibe, or black bean sauce in an Asian hang), somehow I find that totally acceptable and will go to town. Hm. Maybe I *would* be ok with these things.

Excuse me while I go puke.