Gloomy Monday turned Brazilian Caffeinated Old Lady Celebration!

I woke up feeling down, and the overcast weather didn't help. But I kept a smile for my girl. She's in school now. I had Big Plans to go to the gym and try to let go of some stress, but was so hungry! In checking my Period Log (yes, I have an app to follow my cycle!), it seems I'm in PMS world. So after a protein shake, a very small piece of leftover steak with one egg over easy, one piece of Ezekiel bread with jam, and an apple, I still felt hungry. And these days, a shake has been more than enough!  Ah, hormones...

I warmed up my instrument because (drum roll, pretty please?)... I have my first gig post - surgery this coming Saturday! So I need to get my muscles flexing. I've been practicing on and off, but it's been hard, with the pain, the sadness, and the lack of a goal besides one that is a week after this Saturday, it's been easy to push aside. Not my usual self. So I was thrilled to get a call from a good friend and phenomenal musician for a private soiree! Can I do it? Well, I won't know until I try - but I think I can handle it! It's only a trio, which means more playing for me without rest, but I'm with 2 musicians I love. And, I need the cash.

After that, I SWORE I'd get to the gym. But, that wasn't happening. So, after wasting way too much time on the internets, I had a moment of scolding myself. I am ALIVE. I am LOVED. I have a beautiful family, a wonderful career, I love my home, my pets, my friends, my colleagues, and other than the cancer, I'm healthy as heck!

Oxymoron. Healthy Cancer.  Moving right along...

So I poured a big cup of iced coffee, with vanilla almond milk, a nice dose of Xylitol (the chunky type, I like texture!!!) and stuck a big straw in it. This is a favorite treat of mine, and I know I shouldn't be OD'ing on the caffeine, but I'm SAD, damnit! Caffeine brings my qi up, and I don't care if it's temporary. It can lead to activity and thought patterns that will uplift my day. So... bottoms up!

I also put on some really fun Brazilian music. Who? I dunno. It's a sampler I got from Amazon MP3 - they offer amazing FREE music for download and really inexpensive others. If I were out of the cancer closet, I'd tell you to buy ME on there. Ah, that day will come. I really should look into how I can offer it for free, it would be lovely to widen my audience. I have really discovered some wonderful artists this way and have purchased their music. Anyway...

So the weights are out. I'm doing old lady weight lifting, all that I'm allowed to do. I wish Richard Simmons would bust through my door like the Kool Aid Dude and scream "OH YEAHHHHH!", but I guess I should just hope that my ink delivery arrives before I have to pick my daughter up from school. Plus, my big ass Himalayan Salt Lamp is on. It makes me happy. It helps me breathe, whether the effects are real or Memorex, I could care less. Orange glow = breathing. I could use all the help I can get!

Well, I'm feeling better already, so continuing on my iced coffee/old lady weights/Brazilian Bopping adventure - I'm sure glad I yelled at myself earlier. If it were anyone else yelling at me, I would have yelled back. Shoo, I have CANCER! But me? How can I yell back at me? It would go on forever, I'd lose my voice, and I'd get nothing done. Here goes...

*update*: While I feel a bit better after doing my version of Old Ladies Gone Wild, my ravenosity continues. I know it's not imagined, I know my hormones are screaming. So, the good news is that there are no longer leftover mashed potatoes OR gravy in the freezer. The other good news is that I actually heated them up, as opposed to what my lovely husband would have done. Yup. He likes to snack fresh from the freezer. The other night, after a late gig, I heard rustling in the kitchen and snuck in to catch him popping frozen shumai in his mug. I really adore him and find that hysterical. But, you won't catch me popping frozen shrimp dumplings, or potatoes (yes, I've witnessed) or anything else unless it's supposed to be frozen! His other snack love - pretzels or chips dipped into anything. Frozen Goulash? Pass the twists. I'll drill it out! Leftover pasta sauce? Hey, I found some pita chips!

Ah. Love. I can't wait for him to get home tonight. So we can Wang Chung tonight. Note: Do not watch this video if you have epilepsy.