Busy times... but pre-op labwork is done

I stopped in to see my breast surgeon (not the plastic one, the one who taketh away...) and his lovely nurse. Had a great chat, picked up some copies of records, had an EKG, and they sucked out a few gallons of blood. I'm proud of myself for not passing out, but maybe I'm getting used to all of this. Or maybe, I was too tired to care.

It's been a hectic week. I have a long night of working ahead of me, so I booked a massage beforehand. Meanwhile, after seeing the docs (oh, and by the way - I tested as NEGATIVE for the genetic mutant stuff... yay!) I did a bit of shopping to try and find another sports bra type of garment that zips or snaps or something up the front without wires and padding and crap. NOTHING. I even went so far as to stop into a Kmart. I figured, they HAVE to have a good stock of old lady underthings! Nope. I guess Kmart is jumping on the young'n bandwagon. I went to a few other stores too. I may just have to wear the surgical bra they will issue to me and find an alternative way to keep the girls in place while I wash and dry the hideous garment.

Of course, I'm assuming it will be hideous. Anything hospital issued is... which reminds me - I should look into a new robe for the hospital. I know I will hopefully only be there a day, and with the blood and what not... well, maybe I should stick to their plan. But I could bring some sharpies and have my daughter and husband decorate it for me. Would they be mad? I could say I don't know who did it. Must have happened when the pain meds were carrying me blissfully to a world without missing breasts - my dreams.

So, I will pack my bedazzler. Just in case.

I also looked for a few button down shirts, but things were either too expensive or too cute. I really don't want to stress about my drains spilling onto the top that I thought would look so cute on when I'm healed. I just need ugly shirts that open and close in front. You'd think I was looking for an old lady bra or something!!!

I just scarfed down some leftover fried chicken that my daughter left behind. I did have it with about 2 cups of fresh baby organic spinach, and my cottage cheese/flaxseed concoction. And a glass of kombucha, followed by a cup of coffee (well, I already have cancer, so I've decided that I can have a treat). Besides, I'm in PMS mode! Which brings up my next question... what's for dinner???

Anyway, the doc did mention that after surgery we will talk about any other treatments that will be needed. Which, I didn't want to speak aloud (much like "Voldemort"), I assumed was either Chemotherapy or Radiation. Am I allowed to say no to Chemo? I mean, I am. Of course, it's my body. I guess we'll just see, but damn, I do not want to endure what my mom did so many times over the course of 10 years.

However, I look good bald. I was close to bald for 8 years on and off. Apparently my head is nicely shaped. But I'd like to keep my hair right now. That would be the least of my fears, though. I'm sure nobody looks forward to being poisoned. Except those weirdos in those freaky cults.

So that's the news. I spoke with a therapist friend yesterday and she really made me break down and cry. She encouraged me to take as much time as I can after surgery, no matter how physically well I'm healed. My brain hasn't had time to make sense of any of this. I'm running 24/7, and I'm so booked right until surgery - it's a miracle (I'll be sure to squirrel away the cash so my family doesn't starve) and doesn't give me too much time to think and have a meltdown. But after? I'm sure I'll be melting down a bit, I'll have more time to think than I ever have in my life. Yes, I still plan on cleaning closets. I plan on planning new color schemes for the apartment. Lots of stuff needs to be done. But maybe, my brain can rest and reset. I'm a Type A, if you believe in categorizing yourself by letter. At first, I thought it meant "Awesome", but I now realize it means "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"  Interesting to see how I can calm my mind. Pain meds should help. I may end up watching Quincy again - hubs and I watched some this summer on Ye Olde Netflixxe, and we are still quoting it. Jack Klugman, you are going to possibly be my Cancer Recovery Mind Numbing Hero. I mean, I LOVED that show - not saying it sucked by any means, but you can definitely watch and laugh and forget about the fact that your breast tissue is now in  a garbage can at the hospital. At least until the mystery is solved.  "Just like your theories, Quince..."