Once upon a time, I had 2 breasts.

It's Saturday. I made it to another day.

Yesterday, our photographer friend came for dinner and delivered the disc. Of photos. Of me. And hubby. Gorgeous, thank goodness for her vision! I nearly chickened out but am so glad I didn't. The photos hit me hard - they seem to be of another woman.

I took a shower all by myself this morning! I even washed my hair, though I think my guy does a better job. I carefully washed that damned left armpit, and when I emerged and started to dry off, I realized that some of the scabbing from the lymph node thievery came off. It's a pretty deep scar, but I know it will fade in time. But it's nice to have less of the scabbing. I bet it will be gone in a few days.

My so-called-breast looks a bit bruised up, weirdly wrinkled, a huge gash across the front (and yes, that's pretty much all of it) and it creeps me the f*ck out. But I'll have to get to know it - seems I'm stuck with this alien. Funny, I've been wearing a bra that belongs to my 11 year old, it's just a stretchy vest that is really soft, like thick pantyhose. With it on, I look sort of balanced. Without, a walking nightmare. At least to me.

My daughter asks a few times each day if my arm is healed. She sees how I move, and she wants to hug a lot. It's better every day. I love her optimism! It helps me to feel better. But damn, I'm still super uncomfortable. However, my game face is BANGING!

I've been enjoying a lot of green tea with roasted rice. I call it popcorn tea - it makes me remember my mom, it's yummy, and it's a good anti oxidant. Drink up, folks! I still have a bit of coffee but only for the taste. Hubby makes it perfect.

I piled on some bronzer and makeup so I don't look like I forgot to remove my corpse mask from Halloween. I had to get out today.Yesterday I planned on it, but I had a bad day. Basically, my body was mad at me. I can't blame it. Things didn't work right, and let's just say - I spent a good portion of the morning and afternoon in pain. Luckily, I found some relief before our guest came over. At one point, my daughter crawled into bed next to me with tears streaming down her face, and I told her to remember yesterday - it was such a good day. She massaged my feet. She brought stuffed animals. I love her heart and hope it never changes.

So my daughter and I stopped off at a Halloween store, 50% off! I had to grab a pair of metallic eyelashes and my daughter scored a Ninja Sword. I think we spent $6. Headed to K-town and dropped a LOT more, but hubby met us there (he was at the gym) and helped us carry home udon noodles, lots of bean cake products, weird asian candy, pocky, rice crackers, and of course, got her a Ramune soda and an aloe drink for me.

Just got back home, and I'm tired. What? We walked maybe a mile and a half total. I did my range of motion exercises and felt like a fool that my arm can't move. I am used to being really flexible, and now I joke that opening a bottle or a door, washing dishes and other simple tasks are now physical therapy. It's true. But every day, it gets a hairball better.

It's cold out - what the heck happened out there? Hubs wants to go out to a club that just got power back that we love. I'm nervous about the crowd and people not knowing that I just had a boob chopped off. You know, hugs and stuff. We'll see if I am brave enough. But for now, I'm enjoying the Edible Arrangements sent by my equipment sponsors. I will say it again - BEST get well gift ever. Especially now, the city is a bit short on fresh fruit. Our friend last night brought bananas and grapefruit - happy happy joy joy! The pineapple and melon and strawberries and grapes are making me feel like a millionaire right now - a millionaire missing a breast but thrilled to be alive. Now, with an abundance of fruit!!!