Wow. Another fill today, and we're doing one more next week. It's always uncomfortable, and today is no exception. I had a 9am appointment, so I walked there, grabbed a coffee on the way, savored it's delicious sweetness that I never let myself have at home (but you know, coffee from somewhere other than my kitchen is suspect quality, so I have to *candy it up*)... got my fill, talked to the doc and assistant. We talked nipples.
Doc said that he would highly consider "Nipple Sharing". Which evoked an audible "AWWWWWW!" from me without missing a beat, as if he had just produced a basket full of fuzzy kittens wearing hats.
But, the results really are astonishing. And, perhaps, I will tattoo BFF's in between my breasts. I mean, if righty is willing to Nipple Share, what greater gift could a Best Friend give?
They also said that they may want to harvest fat to put between the muscle and skin. I said, GREAT! I've gained a few lb's for the occasion! I am SO SMART. Those cookies we baked last night? Pure genius.
Speaking of gaining weight, I asked what I could do exercise wise. My range of motion is better, but still, no weight lifting until the final surgery is done and I'm healed. Thinking of checking out one of those TV evangelists and getting this healing done ASAP. Hit me on the forehead and tell me I'm good to lift! But, I can continue my non-sweaty cardio (seriously, how do women handle this in the summer?) and can even do squats against the wall with a swiss ball. I did them tonight. Frankie is sore (I guess I've named the new boob after all!) but it was either do squats or eat cookies. I think I have enough fat for them - really, they only need a little. Damn. I was hoping to get some comprehensive lipo on my love handles. Guess I'll have to lose them the old fashioned way. Pay for it myself. Kidding. I think, but check back in a few years. I don't know that I'd ever elect for surgery after this ordeal, but I am not making any promises.
Anyway, one more fill next week it seems. Talk about pressure! But hey, I'm all for it. Make my sh*t look right! Nipple share! Fat graft! But please, please, please, let this all be done soon so I can lift weights again. And sweat.
Speaking of - I keep forgetting to ask if I will ever be able to work my pecs for real again. The left pec is going to be over the implant. If I strengthen it, it will become tighter and shorter. Hm. Am I destined to have flabby pecs? I'll just make up for it in MASSIVE DELTS. Well, as soon as I can lift my arm over my head like a normal person.
I have very tight bands of scar tissue in my pit. Very painful but I massage them and try to open them up. It gets better and better. But damn. I don't know how people cut themselves - I can barely massage my scar tissue without wanting to cry. But hey, it's for a good reason. Mobility. So I'll do it. *whimper*
I'm uncomfortable. But I can see the light at the end of the saline fills. I've avoided calling my other surgeon to find out the radiation and chemotherapy results - I keep thinking "No news is good news" but I really need to know in my head now. I need to know if surgery will be delayed, if I'll be bald, if my skin on Frankie will be all singed and hard to operate on. I should call. I say it every day.
But right now, I need to crawl into bed and watch a movie so I can fall asleep, as getting up at 7am to get my girl ready for school is no easy task the day after a fill. She's been so good to me through all of this, and I make sure to keep my happy face on. Because I have a good life, despite this stupid cancer thing.
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