Gloo-Gone

Last night, I decided to La Mer my radiated side. Why? Because I hear horror stories about the skin, over time it disintegrates, collapses, pretty much fucks with the reconstruction. So, I put on my $150 cream. This morning, I woke up to see that all of the glue on the incision (which spans the entire width of the faux breast) was peeling up! Carefully, because I was one of those kids who had to pick every scab, I worked off the glue. Now, after my mastectomy, I was petrified of the glue. The nurse peeled it off for me - I was too freaked out that I couldn't feel anything. Oh, and that I had just had my breast removed. This time I saw it and realized that it will drive me batty if I left it.

There is still glue on the right side, so I put a bit of La Mer on it this morning (also on the other side too, because the main reason I did it was to help that skin along!)  We'll see what happens.

I know my reconstructive surgeon told me time and again about "rippling" because of the lack of breast tissue, and fat. I thought it was overkill that he told me so many times. Now, I'm glad. Because I see the rippling clearly. And I'd be pissed if he hadn't driven it home for me. It is shit like this that makes me so mad at folks who think that Breast Cancer is a way to get free implants.

Hey, I guess it's cool. If you hate yourself and want to inflict mental and physical pain on yourself and end up looking like a circus freak (oh, did I mention that I had to downsize due to the radiated skin? It's NOT a way to get "bigger"!!!)

This looks like a negative post. Probably because something is wrong with our fridge. The water dispenser broke years ago, and now something is wrong with the door. I looked online to see about a new one, but to get something close to what I have, would cost minimum $1000. Because I bought a good one. I had to upgrade from the bachelor style fridge that ex-hubby had - by the time I bought the new one, the old one was duct taped shut. Classy. And, going through my divorce, broke, I didn't give a crap. I wanted something that made ice and filtered water. And I got a new stove, one that actually fit 4 pots on top and didn't have a dent that looked like someone's head got slammed into the top of the range. One day, the fridge filter stopped working. And I meant to get it fixed but never did. Well, I guess it's time to figure it out. Ugh. When it rains...

But, we'll see what happens. We really need our kitchen floor tiled. Badly. We need to paint the apartment. Parts of it - badly, other parts are liveable. Maybe our standards are too high. Maybe I need a cup of coffee. I definitely need some sun. And some fat under my skin over my implant so the ripples go away.