Tamoxithin

I promised hubby that I would post about Tamoxifen.

I've now popped 10 pills and have lost about 3 pounds.

This has NOT been an effortless weight loss, but my fear of this medication has made me really buckle down on what I know.

What has been so helpful is Intermittent Fasting. I am a former personal trainer, and I would train hard, 6 days a week, eat every few hours, and had a 16% body fat when I was pregnant. I looked more male than female at times (pretty sure my estrogen was in a cancer-free-safety-zone back then!).  My life is different now. Very Different.

It's only been 10 days. But the hardest part is the first 2 months, from what everyone says. I think if I had taken the tamoxifen under the Nasty Oncologist, I would have ballooned, I would be depressed, all the other crap that I was told it would do to me. But, now that I've reset my brain, I refuse to gain weight, which takes a lot of effort (lots of gym time and diet watching). I refuse to be unhappy. I refuse to let a blood clot go to my brain and kill me. I refuse to feel my joints ache. I can't say that these things won't effect me in the future, but I'm doing my best to avoid it. I'm doing my best to tell my brain that I will not only be ok, but I will actually be better. Thus, our new name for the "wonder drug".  We joke that everyone should take it. Lucky me!

So there's that.

Just had a gig confirmed overseas. I'm thrilled for the work, but am now scrambling for child care, as hubby is very busy that week too. And ex hubby and his family are going to be on vacation. I do joke that he really needs a vacation, dodging child support is hard work. But, it is what it is. I can't change him. I can just be sure that I we live the way we should. So here we are, scrambling for child care. Out of 5 nights needed, we managed to change hubbys travel plans (so he'll lose one day of work), got one night covered, so there's only 3 left. Please cross your fingers that we have it all squared away ASAP.

I'm so grateful to have found my man. I would never have been this calm about this type of situation in the past. Granted, I'm still me, and feel like I have about 20% of the anxiety that I would have in the past. That's ok. I'll take it.

So. Here I go. Lifting weights at home while watching old Quantum Leap on Netflix (as if there were new ones? Hah) Taking care of business before I take my girl out for dinner. It's a fried chicken joint. But that's ok. I'm nearly at my pre-diagnosis weight now, and I know that what I'm doing is Good. And if I gain 2 lbs. of Fried Chicken Belly, I'll lose it in a few days. That's the magic of Tamoxithin!

Yeah, check back in a couple of days...  but so far it's going pretty good.