That was Fast!

Apparently, I'm almost fasting today.  I didn't mean to, and ok, I had 2 cups of coffee, 2 glasses of home brew kombucha, a cup of golden milk, a few glasses of water, and now some herbal tea. I have been on the verge of a cold and keep fighting it, so perhaps my body is telling me to do this today.

Plus, we had a party yesterday, and naturally, I ate.

This is normal, right? Eating? And, we didn't have much naughty food. I was very good. Probably ate fewer calories than the average American at this thing.

But, I had my thyroid levels checked at my post-op appointment because it's been such a hard road, this weighting game.  And, in fact, I was right as usual - at least when it comes to my health.

My T4 levels are low. Not terribly, but I have no baseline, so I assume they were on the higher side of normal. So, yes, my thyroid is messed up. From radiation? From tamoxifen? From stress? What???

Yeah. I'm small. I work out a lot, and I eat really clean. But the second I eat more than 800 calories, and many times 600, I gain. And yes, I was a personal trainer for many years. I understand the calorie game. They are all quality calories, and since I don't count the coconut oil in my coffee, or the home brew kombucha with chia seeds I consume daily, it's probably 200 on top of whatever I record in my log. And then, factor in the exercise calories.

So, I have an appointment to meet a new GP (my old one moved to Ohio or some crap - I mean, seriously???) But this one comes from my great new OB/GYN, and she has gotten to know me very quickly, and intimately, as they all do. So I have faith that I will like this doc as well.

So, here I am. Fasting involuntarily. But I have BIG PLANS to go to bed early tonight and perhaps squash this looming not-a-cold-but-could-be-easily-if-I-keep-up-and-not-sleeping game. So now that it's nearly 5pm, I've worked out, done all my stuff, am now practicing a bit so I don't go off the musical rails before my hit Thursday.... I am planning on a cozy movie in bed with the kitties before I abruptly kick them out so they're not pouncing on me all night, and get some sleep.

Fasting works well for my weight now. It was never a thing that I did. I'm slowly learning to embrace not feeling full. I grew up super poor, so there was always slight panic in my brain. Leave no morsel of food uneaten, eat when not hungry, because you're not sure when the next meal will present itself, etc. It makes for a messed up mindset, but finally, I'm getting the hang of the fact that I will not, in fact, starve to death.

Looking forward to my millions of doc appointments coming up (not!). Mammo up ahead as well. I'm so behind on my dental, but I just get tired. Tired of seeing someone and having them do stuff that isn't fun.