So, what exactly IS wrong?

Yesterday I burned approximately 150 calories MORE than I consumed. It was a good workout day, a good food day, yet I woke up almost 2 pounds heavier.

Sometimes I think I should just give up and move to the midwest and buy doritos by the case.

But, seriously, what is it? Is my thyroid literally toast from the radiation? Or the shutdown of my estrogen will never start back up quite the same?

What is it? And why am I not eating an entire

carrot cake nightly?

And why do I work out anymore?

I know I'm trying to do all of the right things. Correction. I am doing the right things. My body just isn't responding.

Is it stress?

So, if I'm stressing and my thyroid is screwed, I guess that could explain this. Lunch today was some turkey/cabbage soup and salad. If I gave it a high caloric count, it would clock in around 500 or maybe 600. And that's definitely more than it is.

I burned about the same at the gym.

We'll see what tomorrow brings. I do realize I'm also in PMS week - but this is just ludicrous. I have 2 big gigs this coming weekend and can not be the fat girl on stage.

I know. Shut up. I'm a size 2, maybe a 3 soon. But - I'd be ok with that if I WERE eating a carrot cake for dinner every night. I'm eating super clean and light and working out. That's what's scary. When I look at my calculations over the past few months, I should have lost 30 pounds, not gained 10. And I don't mind being thought superficial - but the truth is - I'm petrified that something is utterly wrong that we don't know about. So tempting to get

wings for dinner. So. Tempting.