Steroids vs. Tamoxifen

Well, I often refer to "tamoxirage" as one would refer to "roidrage". I don't know how much worse steroids would be, if at all, but they sure do have fewer side effects. And really, none that will kill me. The liver stuff, heck, I'd cut down on my drinky-poos.

Let's just hypothetically say that I decided to somehow convince an oncologist that I should be prescribed steroids instead of tamoxifen.

Perhaps I'd grow a penis. That would be fascinating. And, I could tuck it, as we've all learned from Silence of the Lambs.

Body hair? Well, I've had much of it lazered off. I wouldn't be opposed to more treatments, or just a handy razor. Or a Nair Bath.

Pimples on the back? Poor hubby will have to become my aesthetician. But hey, I think somewhere in our vows there was a promise of excising back pimples if my spouse goes on steroids.

The anger? Yeah, got that already.

Weight gain? I have stated numerous times that this tamoxifen is going to make me anorexic just to try and maintain a normal weight.

And bonus? Maybe I could become a female body builder!!!

I'll have to practice painting on that fake orange tan, but hey - maybe these nice girls can help. You go, Girls!

Now, do I actually think my oncologist would ok my use of anabolic steroids in lieu of the "Highly tested and highly suicidal Tamoxifen"? Probably not. Would she prescribe the steroids? I'm guessing no. Will another doc? Who knows. I kind of joked about this in the beginning but in the back of my mind thought it was more feasible than this stuff that basically would age me 50 years (who knew it would work so fast - what a *miracle drug*!!!) Maybe I can find a shady doc who believes that the patient actually comes first, and that fixed-by-drug-company-case-studies can bite me.

And yes, I'm being silly with my photos. But, I'm serious in my thinking. Seems that steroids would block enough estrogen to create a penis AND stop the cancer. Duh. I'd rather have a penis than watch my bones turn to dust.