Ok, it's sort of my fault.
I started taking the calcium supplement. I'm not sure if this is possible, but I get these spells of fuzzy brain. I feel like someone is tickling my brain with wool. It doesn't hurt, I don't feel like I'll pass out, and only once did I feel a little nauseated. But I also feel like my body is not used to the flooding of calcium into my weak and brittle old lady dusty bones.
I ate a lot in the past few days. Went to a party, and the food was SMOKIN'. Plus beer. Went out the following day to a German Bierhaus. No surprise - great food and bier. I weighed in at about 8 lbs. heavier than before these days happened. I was so puffy, and felt dehydrated no matter what I drank, but I kept drinking, coconut water, even gatorade during a desperate moment at the gym.
I know. A lot of salt, a bit too much indulgence. I'll be square in a few days, and I did wake up only 2 pounds up instead of 8 this morning, but... damn. I do feel as if I retain water a lot easier these days. Is it the calcium? Shoo. I can't win. I'd rather not spend the rest of my life in a body cast. To me, I weigh the pros and cons of the Tamoxibreak, and the ridiculous side effects seem unworthy of the slight elevation in my chance to not have a metastasis roll to another part of me.
On a strange note - and knock on wood - I haven't been having many hot flashes. I think the fuzzy head has taken over, though. Which scares me more. Sure, I save on shampoo and the embarrassment of becoming completely soaked and panicked within seconds, but being a cancer patient makes me worry about everything. I asked hubs if I had a brain tumor yesterday. He said he hoped not. Me too.
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