Jeez. I know I'm not great with updates recently, but with this epic hot flash on a cool Sunday morning, 3 fans focused directly on my misery, all I can do is try and not pass out. Hence, I type.
This is still early for menopause, of course, but with the Tamoxifen Games, my hormones hate me. These flashes have been sneaking in and out. My period goes from every two weeks to a panicky 8 weeks.
It was hot as heck yesterday and the day before, but today? Nice and cool. Thank goodness this flash hit me in this. Nausea, profuse cold sweat, panic, wanting to peel my skin off like an amphibian. I'm sitting here in the kitchen, while hubby sleeps, in my undies with fans focused. I can't really take much more off, so I sit and wait as my entire body gives my spirit the middle finger.
I'm going to have to start carrying around my Hot Girls Pearls bracelet for real.
When I was on the Toxicphen, my most major flashes happened in winter - I'd be walking around in the snow, stripped down to a tank top. Now? Egads. Between the flashes and lymphedema, I'm going to dislike my favorite season... a lot.
Anyway, went to my oncologist last Friday - 6 months late for a checkup. Why? I'm tired of docs. I saw all the others - GP, OB/GYN, dentist, blahblahblah. Had some work done on my tamoxified teeth. Everything else ok, blood a bit wacky but we're adjusting my supplementation and are going to recheck in a bit. But oncology? UGH. Anyway, though we hate the hospital, our doc is cool. He knows we hate it. He booked my appointment himself. He spent extra time, as he always does. We like each other. He said, as always, I look great. It's cool, I'm taking extra good care of myself. Neurotic about working out and eating well. If I look at a photo of cake, I gain. It's a combo, in my opinion, of the tamoxifen screwing so badly with my hormones, and possibly aging. But my metabolism took a serious nosedive. Luckily, I have major OCD and have been too stubborn to let it go for too long. I've decided that I want to die totally hot. Life goals? Death goals? Eh. It's just a funny thought that when I'm cremated, I want to have a 6 pack. Hopefully that'll be less time in the cooker, and perhaps a little discount in the process. ;)
Ah. These fans are keeping my nausea in check. I was about to dress and go to the gym, but I'd hate to have a hot flash there. Between the smells of smelly gym people, the looks of curiosity, the "are you ok" BS, and the fact that I don't want to know 97% of the people there, I'll wait it out.
Cool
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