I'd love to spend Mother's Day with my mother, but cancer stole her from me, 26 years ago.

Days like today are bittersweet. I can't walk around without seeing families taking mothers out, she in her "coolest" dress, holding dying flowers, children and husband slightly uncomfortable in their Sunday Finery, wishing that they could just hang out in sweats and eat microwaved popcorn in front of the TV. While they facebook on their phones.

Ah, Mother's Day.

I remember when I had a mom. It was a long time ago. She was the one person on the planet that I could look to when everyone else hurt me.

Honestly, Death, I could have given you a long list of folks that you could have taken away instead of her. A bunch of motherf*ckers who just needed to go. Not her.

At least I was on my own when she passed. I think she tried to wait as long as she could, to make sure I was far away enough.  So I could try and stop that pain cycle.

Well, it's 26 years later. Amazingly, a lot of those folks no longer affect me from afar. Perhaps because I've physically removed myself from their realm, but it took a long way to remove myself mentally. There are days... trust me. Usually set off by a familiar looking stranger, or an action seen, or a voice - but I've gotten pretty good at turning a blind heart that way. Why? Well, what good would it be to send hate to a stranger that only reminds me of a bad space? That person can't help how they look or sound or act, even in the most douchebaggy of ways. At least, not at the moment it happens in my radar.

Yeah. Who actually enjoys these days? Sure, it's nice to acknowledge folks. But, it's harsh to pressure society like this. I like the Japanese holidays - children's, women's, men's, aged, etc... I mean, women who have lost their moms, who had abusive moms, who are moms to criminals and addicts, women who can't become moms, no matter what hocus pocus or medical miracles they've tried... so, a LOT of people take this day to say, "Hey! Society tells me I'm an asshole/loser/failure today! I'll go out and drink until I'm blind! Yay, me!!!"

I know of very few functional families. Mostly, what I see in my friends and acquaintances, is that we all are imperfect. WHAT???

Yup. All of us. And we don't need no stinkin' holiday to remind us. I think I'll take the American holiday calendar and edit for our home. I'm fairly certain that  a lot of Japanese holidays shall be celebrated. This can only mean one thing - MORE POCKY!!!