Oh, my aching lymph...

Well, I called a few places, and nobody is in my insurance network. Lymph is big business. One of the best, so I hear (and I did meet her a few years back), is a whopping $250/session. Out of network. Also, out of price range. I'm having a heck of a time finding a reasonable costing lymphedema specialist who is attainable on a regular persons budget (keep in mind that I am a musician, so my budget is much lower than most!)

I know I have it. I know I have it. I know. I have tried wishing it away, hoping I could fool my body with my mind. My body is way too smart and/or stubborn to change. The pressure and pain are real.

So, in my frustration, I tried on my sleeve/gauntlet that I got as a preventative measure. I wore it about 15 minutes. It looks dorky as hell. It makes it impossible to type. And, it felt wonderful.

Crap.

I didn't want it on too long. I did some self massage to hopefully drain some of the fluid and then popped it on. Showed hubby. I need someone to bedazzle something to put over it. Stat.

I have a plain black and a plain purple. I mean, what's the point of having a dumb thing to wear for a medical reason if it doesn't look super crazy? Plain? Me? ME?

Sigh. Anyway, it's been off about 5 minutes and I'm already feeling it again. It was my little experiment. I was right.

So, the search continues. I need someone to help. I am hoping to see my acupuncturist next week, before I get on a plane. Of course, no needles on the affected side, but she can certainly drain some of that energy out. I mean, for real - this does not feel amazing.

Also, think of the tan lines.

I hate looking up lymphedema online, because I see these horrendous, giant limbs. Infections. Grossness in general. I don't want to be that. I want to be me. I'll accept the fake boob, the scars, the lack of a nipple and a crude tattoo job by my surgeon to trick my brain when I look into a mirror from far away. Got it.

But a giant arm?

NOOOOO!!!

I found this online. Because, you can pretty much learn anything on Youtube. It seems legit. I tried it. I actually felt a little better, but perhaps because one of my cats sat next to me and rubbed my arm as I followed the destructions. I mean, instructions.

Who knows how bad it will get. I'm hoping that with my determination, OCD, and will to not have a giant, mutant arm, I will somehow keep it to a dull roar. It feels all sorts of f'd up. Is this my future? Eek. But, oddly, my arm feels as heavy as this one looks.