Could it be? Could the clouds of Tamoxirage have possibly lifted?

So, I don't want to jinx anything, but I've been in a good mood. Like the old me. Before this cancer crap.

It's only been a few days, but hubby has certainly noticed it. Possibly because I haven't tried to kill him in a few days. No, I never wanted to, but damn, I was living forever on the edge of a cliff, clinging to one little branch that threatened to snap and send me plummeting to my cancer death.

And, if you've ever seen someone (I once had a kitten who nearly jumped out of a 10th story window - luckily I saved her and she lived to the ripe old age of 18) on that edge of a cliff, they will do anything to hang on. Meaning, my sweet kitten scratched and bit the hell out of me as I saved her from going splat on the sidewalk. True story.

Because when someone tries to talk us down, or throw a rope, we have to use blind faith that they are right. That the rope will hold. It has never felt like it would, until a few days ago.

What changed? Heck if I know. My hormones are shifting back. My weight is still a battle. If I starve myself and work out, I definitely look better and feel... meh. My blood sugar has been really sensitive and I'm sure it's my "I need to button my size 2 pants, damnit!" attitude. And, I'm right. I need to. For the most part, they do. But sometimes, the moon is in the wrong position, the tides are wonky, the stars are all messed up in their alignment, who knows. I know, it's my hormones fighting to be reasonable again. Doing my best.

But at least I'm happy. I've set a new rule, I have to eat something before noon. Been intermittent fasting, which worked for a while, and still does to a point, but that blood sugar gets me at noon. I prepare a big ass veggie juice in the morning. And I try like hell to ignore it until I can't take it any longer. I do enjoy my cup of organic coffee with coconut oil, cayenne-ginger-cinammon and sometimes some stevia if I'm feeling frisky. And also some home brewed kombucha with chia seeds. So technically, I'm not fasting.

I wonder if I am like my grandma - she had diabetes. Nothing about her lifestyle would indicate that she would be susceptible. I don't know if she was type 1 or 2. Exercised, never overweight, happy life, yet she had that. Hmph. Eventually I'll worry enough to get tested, but for now, let's get this cancer and hormonal balance together.

Flying tomorrow evening for some gigs. It's a week away, but only 2 shows. Which may sound good to some, but I'm only being paid for 2 shows, but am away for a week. Eh. But the good news is that I'll maybe get a chance to relax, workout, sightsee, and SLEEP. Came home around 3am last night/this morning. Woke up at 7 when hubs was leaving. Struggled to sleep again until about 8:30 when I had to give our diabetic cat his shot. Practiced, started packing (still need to complete!), had a half assed workout and a nice walk, with some lunch goody shopping for my kiddo (she brings a thermos of udon noodles to school daily - true story!)

Let's hope this mood thing is here to stay. I can't stand being a lunatic. In a bad way. In the good way? Bring it.