As much as I try, I seem to not be able to sleep enough. My brain triggers very early in the morning. Not good. I mean, my alarm is set for 6am - but I wake up by 5 or earlier. Seriously, what gives?
Construction in home may be partially responsible. Feels unsettled, dusty, disorganized. But still... unacceptable reason. I'm glad I got through the fashion show last week without taking a spill. It was wonderful, being able to raise money for a cancer center. Plus, I love fashion. If only I could have kept the clothing (especially the skirt - ok, everything. I loved everything).
I have so much coming up - work, projects, life... I need sleep.
My diet has also been super wonky for the past few weeks, but I think I'm back on track. Gained a few and lost a few. Whatever. But I think it may be part of what is affecting my sleep. Eating out more than usual with construction. Even when you order an organic salad in a restaurant, it's not your concoction. It's usually way more delicious, and probably filled with stuff that you wouldn't put in your own salad. Plus the bread. We almost never eat gluten, but a gorgeous, fresh organic breadbasket? Ok, I'm also not immune to a ghetto challah or even those stupid sesame covered breadsticks that are wrapped in plastic and are clearly not actual food. They taste extra good dipped in those little butter packets - which at least are butter. BUT, it's still not a part of my usual diet that keeps my body running optimally.
So, today was a pretty good food day, and I also worked out for the first time in too long, and I treated myself to a hot stone massage because I'm so achy. It helped. I needed it. I need much more than that, apparently. But it was nice to have someone be nice to me for an hour with hot stones.
What I really need is sleep. And a sponsor, so I can worry less about working and more about healing and helping others. Because as of now, I do it all, somehow.
Tonight - me/netflix. Must make time to chill out. Even if I don't get enough sleep tonight, I need my brain to get a hot stone massage. In fact, I'm going to spray my apartment with lavender right now. And lay on my bed of nails. It feels amazing though it hurts like a mofo. You literally are forced to relax. And when you're sick? Amazing.
Sometimes you have to remember to be kind to you, in the process of being kind to the world. I tend to forget that I count. And then I get sick. Hmph.
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