Stress. Like a MFer

Wow. It's been busy. I should be in bed, but I'm surfing the intermallweb for kitchen appliances. We had been talking to a contractor for a few months, and the sh*t has been taking forever to nail down. We had been talking summer to completely overhaul the kitchen, including knocking walls down (city kitchens can be like closets, stuffy, hard to hear other rooms, and when the green bean casserole's burning, the smoke has little chance of escaping!)  It's a HUGE financial task, but why have I been saving all these years? We cook ALL the time. We love to cook. I have cancer. What the heck. I need a nicer kitchen.

So, homeslice, aka contract dude, emailed that he could book us in September.

Hold-the-damned-phone. WHAT. I have had my heart set on SUMMER. Which is officially now. I know, he's busy, schedules get filled... so instead of a scathing email from me, I asked hubs to do it. Guess what? He can start - um - right after July 4 weekend. WHICH IS IN A WEEK.

I'm totally down. Being Type A and Virgo, plus feeling like a ticking time bomb, let's roll.

Meanwhile, the financial burden, though I've adjusted to the idea over the past few months, has settled in my brain. I have a huge number in my head and I'm ok with it now.

But, the appliances.

Decisions.

I want good stuff. I have pretty good stuff now, but the fridge has been a mess. Had it fixed last fall. Still sucks. We also are installing a dishwasher. My first. Ever. And a wall mount microwave over the stove to help suck out the nasty fumes. We rarely microwave, but once in a while it does come in handy.

We're waiting on a new stove. Unless I can get a ridiculous deal. Which is possible, with the holiday coming up.

So, I'm surfing with my cash thinking cap on.  It's actually making me feel better about the money, because it's all stuff I need and want.

My dizzy spells? Better.

Had a few but each is less petrifying.

I went to a sub doc yesterday. Sub, as in substitute, and also as in subpar.

She basically told me I was pretty despite the fact that I am half of a certain race. She said that I probably didn't need my breast removed. I was about to lodge my shoe in her eyeball and tell her to also not remove that, but I needed to get through for my vitals and bloodwork.

I told a friend the story, and she saw the same exact Dr. Bitch. Years ago.

Time for a phone call to my regular doc. She was unavailable so I got this whore of a medical bitch.

Anyhoo, no time to sit in bad feelings.

Though, when I told her of my dizzy spells, she said "Well, that's normal!"  Normal for what? A kid on a sit n' spin? About that shoe in your eyeball...

Well, I've been stressed the fuck out, so much going on. Tomorrow is a day trip to a gig. The next day is an 8am gig. Given my instrument, I wake up hours before leaving so I can be sure that we are getting along well. Which means I'll have 2 hours sleep. Then, a birthday dinner way out in where-the-heck-Queens. But, we love our friend Eddie Pazant - saxaphone player extrodinaire, zen master, hilarity without borders, and up in smoke. So I will go. And smile. And put some glitter on. And hopefully not face-plant in the cake. Because I'm exhausted thinking about the weekend. Therefore, I will continue my shopping feast online instead of doing the sensible thing.

Also, my weight is stubborn. Doing all the right things. Methinks it's time for a change. Mix things up. Back to ye olde drawing board... but I am finally feeling a bit happy today for the first time in weeks. I hope this too shall not pass.