Folks told us the first 2 months are the hardest on Tamoxifen.
Yeah. I'm exhausted at night. In fact, I just literally fell asleep sitting on the couch. At 7:30pm. Woke up, thankfully. But wow. Barely saw that coming. Am I turning into a tamoxoleptic?
Calves went through some crazy soreness, and it wasn't workout related.
Had a few hot flashes. Weird. But that was within the first month, and they haven't come back.
My joints are way more crackly. When I twist my wrists around, it makes me think of frozen fries thrown into a deep fryer at a greasy spoon. Mmmm.
My girl crap is all messed up. I used to be able to set a clock by my cycle. Now? I can't even be bothered figuring that out.
But - a lot of symptoms that I've avoided are amazing. The weight thing. I really have dipped below my pre-diagnosis weight. It's a real struggle, but what the hell. I'm in it to win it. Though I did have a bowl of cereal for dessert tonight. I'm hormonal!!! (I can hear my husband laughing now - it's one of my famous lines, usually accompanied by cereal consuming) The moodiness - it ain't a problem. I even seem a bit happier. I guess the prescription for whatever that anti-depressant was can go through the shredder now.
I am not a fan of this weird exhaustion at night - especially since I'm a musician! But I haven't had many late night gigs since I started the meds - luckily I am very busy for the next three weeks and most of the stuff is early(ish). Except my trip to freaking Austria for one gig. I'm not sure how to handle the plane. Do I wear my lymphedema sleeve and gauntlet preventatively? Do I make sure to not sleep on the flight so I can keep getting up to walk around, to prevent death from a blood clot? Decisions, decisions... I should probably try and get an aisle seat regardless, so hopefully if I do fall asleep (likely, I've trained myself over the years to sleep as soon as I buckle up), my seat mate(s) will have to take a leak and either wake me up or trip over me in their mini wine bottle induced state of flight drunkeness (or overdose of free soda, blech...)
I always buy water at the airport, the biggest bottle I can get (usually 2). Last fall when I flew to Brazil, the MD (musical director, not medical doctor) was floored by how much water I drink, in general. I never think it's excessive until I realize how little water people drink.
Ooh - another side effect, I think. I perpetually feel thirsty. That's not awful, because it's good for me to hydrate like crazy.
5 more weeks until reconstruction. I'm SO uncomfortable in this body right now. Everyone says I look great, but there are times where I just want to claw at the skin over my expander until I can open it up and tear out that damned balloon. I mean, I can't feel the skin anyway! But, it's probably best to wait the 5 weeks and let the plastic surgeon do it the right way. I sure hope the implant feels better than this frigging softball under my pec. I've never gotten used to it. And that's a good thing. Time for a change... soon... patience...
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