Years ago, I went through a series of rolfing sessions - maybe 15 or so. It took my chronic, congenital scoliosis and helped me be in much less pain. Since cancer, and all of the burning and mutilation, I've been back once. We were unsure how to treat me, it was so close to my reconstruction (maybe 6 months) but it was still helpful. Unfortunately, Rolfing is expensive. It's worth it, but Cancer is also expensive. Back then, I put Cancer first. Now? I like my holistic ride. So, I emailed my Rolf Expert and found a spot to go in today.
My body is carrying stress and pain in completely different places, since the lymphedema. I've never had lower back pain. I mean, never. It was always my neck and upper back and shoulders, like a mofo. I mean, the kind of pain that makes you want to cry much of the time. I've lived learning to deal, stretching, and just accepting it as "my pain". Now? More. But also, a better head for this situation.
I was surprised when I started to feel my lower back during massages. My therapists before lymphedema (B.L.) were always shocked at how strong but free of tension my lower back was, considering the rest of my mess. Now? I guess I'm like all the whiners about their lower backs.
Everything feels different. Tension feels different. I can't take my health history away, so here I am.
I'm glad I went back. I am going to do my best to not wait too long - maybe a few months, but I think definitely by summer. Did I mention that it costs 3 times what I pay for a massage that ain't bad, across the street? It's also not a massage. It's better in most ways, but not relaxing. I need to chill more.
Hubby just flew home today and left for the gig deliriously exhausted. I think maybe I'll splurge and buy us a massage date day. Dinner plans with friends and gig tomorrow. We need more us time, including our old people aches and pains!
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